


Pleasure and Pain

by merin_b



Category: Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: F/M, Friendship/Love, I'm Bad At Tagging
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-03-21 01:35:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3672615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merin_b/pseuds/merin_b
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Surely the bullet that grazed Lucy's brain hit some fucked up nerve. There was no other explanation for her affection towards the person who shot it. Or was there?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> First ever Fall Out New Vegas fic, bear with me. I'm just getting over my writersblock (haven't written for months) so sorry if I feel a bit rusty. Enjoy! x

Just in the blink of an eye, the small fragment pierced through her shoulder. The sound of her own flesh being ripped open by steel was enough to make her gag, though the adrenaline rushing through her veins kept her from falling down. Behind her, someone cursed--she damn well knew who it was. She tried aiming for the target before her once more, but missed; the energy in her body was slowly faltering away in seconds, leaving nothing but the pain and misery of her shot wound. Before she could move away, her mind shut down and her body went limp.

Occasionally in her state of unconsciousness, she felt like dying. Mostly because of the heat and the unbearable pain in her shoulder, as if somebody was constantly poking that specific spot to torture her. But, when her eyes finally opened ajar and her lips parted, she knew it could've been only one person. "Fucking _hell_ Lucy, you're a real moron sometimes, you know that?" the husky voice mumbled mockingly. His voice sounded annoyed. But there was something else, too. Despair. _Relief_.

She could only make out the vague form of her companion whose face hung above her, but she managed to smile. When she tried to speak, she coughed instead, her throat raspy and dried out by dehydration. "Oh, _right_." Boone said in reply to her noises, leaving her captured glance for a brief moment, only to return with a bottle of dirty water. Never in her life did Lucy think she would be happy to see a dirty bottle of water. Then again, she didn't exactly have the luxury to choose otherwise. He scooped Lucy's upper body into his tall arms and managed to set her up straight a bit before bringing the bottle to her lips. The woman drank eagerly, as if this small amount of water was life depending. Which was in some way partly true, she guessed.

"What happened?" Lucy rasped when she was lying down again. She could almost hear Boone rolling his eyes. Before he could shoot one of his famous, sarcastic comments at her, Lucy spoke again. "I know I was shot, you _idiot_. But what happened afterwards?"

Silence. She reminded herself that she just woke up after.. Boone knows how long. _Take it easy, dumbass_. Her brain already felt fried enough as it was, thanks to the Mojave heat.

They had tried to be so careful about this all; counting every step they took, tracking their area intensively and making sure noone would be able to trace their own. And yet, they'd run into a scouting party of Caesar's Legion. "Well, I finished it,  _obviously_." Boone murmered as he went through his cameo backpack to grab whatever he was searching for. Lucy frowned, opening her mouth but then closing it again. "Are we back in the shack?" she wondered carefully. Boone's flame for revenge was hotter than anyone she'd ever come across, and she knew he didn't like any of this; it costed them precious time. Time they could spent on their journey, to deal with the Legion once and for all. "Yeah." Boone sighed. Lucy's eyesight was finally adjusting, and she was able to make out Boone's face for once; he'd removed his beret and eyeglasses, probably before the hectic process of cleaning out Lucy's wound. "Get me up, will you? I'm tired of lying around being useless all day." she moaned, before looking down at her bandaged shoulder wound. "Enjoy seeing me naked?" she blurted out before thinking, immediately wanting to punch herself after seeing that. Boone's wife was still a sensitive subject she knew, for she had tried to address the matter a few times since they first started traveling together. Boone scoffed. "Hell yeah." he said enthusiastically. Their relationship wasn't build on mutual love affection; they were like a long lost brother and sister, often tossing around sarcastic comments at one another and being able to communicate perfectly without having to use words for clarification.

Boone scooped her small frame into his arms and moved towards the small campfire in front of them. A disgusting smell welcomed Lucy as she made herself comfortable on a log. "Iguana bits." she stated with an annoyed undertone. "What a pleasant [i]surprise[/i]." she added after a small moment of silence. Boone sat down on a seperate log next to her. "They ran out of cheeseburgers. Had to come up with something. Hey, atleast now you can be useless in front of a campfire, right?"

Lucy cleared her throat. "Absolutely. I'm obviously the  _sophisticated_  one, if I may say so myself." she mumbled casually. Even though she seemed calm, she felt like dying on the inside. Not specifically because of her wound, but because of time. That stupid bullet wound could wait. It didn't deserve her attention.

She didn't know anything regarding their mission, when it came to time and location; it was all a blur, swept away like dust, thanks to this event of her getting shot in the fucking shoulder. "We need to get moving." she suddenly said, already wanting to stand up. However, the fast movement made her light-headed, and not to mention she winched from the pain in her shoulder.  _Fantastic reckoning, Lucy_. Boone stood up and helped her sit down. "For fucks sake, calm the fuck down Lucy. You've been shot just a few hours ago. We need to stay here and take it easy." he grunted, clearly annoyed by her stubborness. "No. We need to go. I don't know what they'll do to Benny if we aren't there on time."

Boone snorted. "Right, _him_. Tell me.. Exactly _why_ is he so important to you?"

A short silence. Lucy tried to calm herself down.

"He's got something of mine." she left out the part where she'd grown some sort of disturbing affection towards him, after they spent a few days together in the Tops. Lucy had confronted him there and used her skills on him to get him exactly where she wanted him to be. Turned out, Lucy wasn't good with emotional barricades; when she heard Caesar had captured him, she immediately felt guilty for not killing him right way. Lucy had visited Nipton. She had seen what the Legion was capable of doing, even to the innocent.

She completely, temporarily erased the event from her past on purpose. Or atleast, she pretended it wasn't there. She pretended it wasn't nagging at her in the back of her mind. The event where Benny had once saved her life, a long time ago, before all this. A debt she was going to repay, regardless of the small detail of when he'd tried to shoot her a few weeks ago.


	2. Chapter 2

Sleep. It should've been a peaceful thing to look forward to, but not for Lucy. Not for a person who suffered from a goddamn bullet wound, who had to suffer through the hell of fever, and on top of that, having to bear with the temperature of the Mojave desert. It made her feel like a limp bag of body and bones. _Useless_. Time wasting. In her sleep, every second felt like torture, due to the lack of hydration _and_ the lack of reality; nightmares would pester her everytime she wanted to attempt to have a rest. Boone ended up waking her most of the times, wanting to shake her, but having to keep in mind not to touch the fragile skin around the wound.

" _Lucy_!"

"Jesus, _what_?!"

".. You were at it again.. "

The weakened expression still hadn't left. Lucy's eyes had a tiresome glance in them. Her face was sweaty and pale, what once used to be a beautiful olive skinned beauty. Her companion would often tease her by calling her " _the Pocahontas of the Mojave_ ". She had no idea who the hell that was, but apparently it used to be a pre-war heroine, a long time ago.

Boone was biting his lower lip. Turning around, he pushed two mentats in her hands. "Here. Makes you feel better."

  
_Makes you feel better_. A promise that sounded useless to her. She wanted to _be_ better, instead of living the illusion that she'd ' _feel_ ' better. Nevertheless, Lucy placed both mentats on her tongue and swallowed them, followed by a gulp of purified water that Boone had managed to get his hands on during a supply run. Lucy ran a hand through her chocolate brown locks and gasped. "I need to go down to the river. I'm filthy as fuck."

Boone sighed, rolling his eyes at the blunt statement. " _Fine_." he agreed, helping her up from the bedroll.

 

He accompanied her, as she limped her way downhills. Boone made sure Lucy wouldn't screw up her remaining balance and roll all the way down by walking backwards in front of her, whilst holding her upperarms with his hands.

 

After a few long minutes, they reached an open spot by the river. Boone made sure no mirelurks were walking around. When he was satisfied enough, he nodded at Lucy and traced back his steps until he was out of hearing sight. Turning around, he unfolded a map out of his backpocket and focused his attention on the piece of paper.

 

Lucy sighed, grateful for the temporarily privacy. She started unstrapping her dirty wasteland clothes, which Boone had given her, because her armor was too tight for her wound. Plus, it was too hot, and they didn't want to risk holding the fever on willingly.

 

When her legs touched the refreshing, cold water, she let out a gasp of relief. There was a brief shocky tingle at first, and she knew it must be either the cold or radiation, but she was too content to give a fuck. She dipped her entire body into the waters, but careful not to rub too much of the irradiated liquid into the wound.

 

As soon as she was done, she stepped out of the river and tip-toed on the sand. Realizing she hadn't brought something to wrap herself into, she rolled her eyes at her own stupidity. The last thing she wanted, was to wear those wasteland rags again that she'd been sweating in for days.

 

  
_"_ Boone _!"_  


_"What?!"_

  
_"_ I'm _finished!"_  


_"You decent?!"_

"I'm never decent, you _twat_! And I didn't bring any spare clothes with me!"

 

A short silence. After a while, Lucy could hear him curse at the other side.

 

" _Hold the fuck up. I'll be back in a sec_!"

 

Lucy sighed as she rolled her eyes once more. She watched Boone run up the hill as if he was on fire. Anything to not make this uncomfortable. This was a silent agreement between the two of them; things weren't awkward. Things were never awkward. But they'd never had to take care of each other like this ever before.

 

  
_Just for a while,_ Lucy encouraged herself. _Just until you've completely healed._  


 

She sat down beside a large rock, as a lousy attempt to stay cool in its shadow. Even though it was just seconds when he'd left to get her a new set of clothes, it felt like an eternity already. Lucy had terrible patience.

 

A rustling noise in the distance caught her attention. She ducked behind the rock, an instinctive reaction, as she waited on for any continuing noise. It was all a routine; simply wait for the confirmation about whether she'd truly heard something or not. Perhaps she was getting dellusional. No wasteland survivor would blame her for that. Paranoid was easy to get in these circumstances, where everything envolved about making it through another damn day.

 

But she heard it again. Human noises, this time. Lucy was sure they wouldn't see her; the noise came from up the valley of where the river was located. It'd take them ages to get to her, but they could still shoot her.

 

Voices. Lucy moved her head a bit, and peeked.

 

_Caesar's legion._

 

_Assassin's._

 

" _Fuck_ me." she whispered, instantly going back into hiding position. Her thoughts automatically began to ponder the possibility of simply running away, but then she'd give practially hand over her location of hiding. She just hoped Boone wasn't stupid enough to simply walk himself into a firefight, but she doubted that would happen; Boone was cautious. _Too fucking cautious for his own good_. Which proved to be a rather useful trait, in situations like this one.

 

And so she waited. What felt to her like another eternity, against her own liking. If only she was wearing her armor and had her double barrel shotgun, _and_ hadn't been shot, she would kick those pieces of utter crap a little payback up their asses. But there was no way in hell she, or they, would survive this if they spotted her.

 

The noises and echoes died away after a good while, and Lucy looked up from behind the rock to confirm that thought.

 

They were gone. _For now_.


	3. 3

  
**[** _7 years ago_ **]**   


 

The loud humming of the electronic device was like loud screeches to his ears. It was almost as if he could smell the fucking metal, warmed up by the bright Vegas sun. He sniffed in disgust, feeling tempted to just walk off in a huff. Instead, he raised his eyebrows, looking at the complex robot in front of him. _Securiton_ , he'd labeled itself as, when Bingo had asked the robot _what the fuck_ he was. Incidentally, Bingo's despise against futuristic inventions had grown, just at the sight of the Securiton.

 

  
_Ofcourse_ , thought Benny, _ofcourse he thought it was utter shit_. _Would be a great fucking deal if Bingo would welcome it with open arms._  


 

Which is exactly why he'd stabbed that nutjob in the throat. For _change_. For a chance to survive. To _be_ someone. To have a place in these shit leftovers of a world. A piss poor excuse to have something to rule. Because _power_ , that was Benny's desire. To simply _have_ something, _own_ it, being able to call it all _his_.

 

And just like that, a snap in his fingers, and they got their own place to renovate. _The Tops._  


 

"What'cha want us to do, Ben?" asked a familiar voice behind him. Benny snapped out of his self-hypnotising thoughts, the taste of victory sweet on his tongue, and looked at Swank. The plan was, to scavenge the place, and clean it up real nice. Bring in some fancy furniture, make it real tempting for the tourists to go and take a gamble.

 

And fill their pockets with their bottlecaps.

 

Benny looked around and noticed other people talking to that same damn Securiton from last night. They all seemed to be discussing tactics, as to renovating the other abandoned buildings. Or, for what he assumed were abandoned. He didn't give a shit, though; the _Boot-Riders_ finally had their own hold-up And as if that wasn't enough, they received some fancy-lookin' suits along with the place as well; House had urged the gang to wear them, and to continue to call themselves _Chairmen_ from now on, to get rid off any biased opinions from future customers. Benny figured the guy had a point, and he'd accepted it gratefully. _Shit_ , he'd even gotten his own designed suit, a checkered one. It even had a special pocket for his love _Maria_. It felt more reassuring to him, to be able to touch the cool, calming metal once in a while, as a sweet reminder he was in control.

 

  
_Fucking control._ And it felt so goddamn good.

 

"I'm gonna go check out the place first. You just keep out for a while, 'till I give you green light, you dig?" Benny replied to Swank with a firm nod. Swank, frowning, cleared his throat in disagreement. Though he nodded, because he knew; it was pointless to argue with Benny.

 

Benny swaggered off towards their new home, grasping a fresh cigarette from inside his checkered blazer. He lit it, allowing the smoke to burn down his lungs. It was a pleasuring feeling, he thought to himself, as he pushed the door open to the ruins of the hotel. His chapped lips held grip onto the nicotine stick as he grasped Maria out of his special pocket. Even though the place seemed pretty much untouched for years, he still forced himself to hold up his guard; raising Maria between his clamped fingers, he entered several rooms.

 

Half an hour later, he decided to himself that the main floor was clear. He couldn't find any tracks. Or atleast, not any that were worth mentioning to the other Chairmen.

 

Benny let out a curse when the elevators weren't working. He knew that was obvious, though still, he found himself too tired to walk up a million stairs.

Biting down his remaining outbursts, he eventually found himself moping his way up the stairs. A few minutes afterwards he reached the 13th floor.

 

The more time he spent inside the tops, the more he started to appreciate the place; the thought of having a permanent place to crash everynight, to drink, to eat, to socialize, to win, to control, to _fuck_. Damn, he was one lucky asshole.

 

His thoughts distracted him, and when he opened the door, he wasn't prepared in any way for what he found behind it.

 

Out of shock, he dropped the cigarette from between his lips, his eyes wide opened in shock.

 

A girl.

 

A fucking _girl_.

 

She was halfnaked, wearing an oversized white top. Benny wanted to say something, but he'd been so quiet; she hadn't even noticed his presence yet.

 

The girl was located in front of a table with a mirror, one tanned bare leg swung over the other, while she was gently brushing her long brown curls. Her soft humming filled the darkness around them; the only light came from a few candles placed around the room.

 

Benny whistled to himself, admiring the scenery. The girl jumped up in shock and turned around immediately. "What the _fuck_?!" she yelled, throwing up her hands in disbelief.

 

The head-chairman chuckled darkly. "Sorry, _girlie_. Can't help the fact that you're so goddamn easy to sneak up on." he said, Maria still clenched and raised between his hands. The girl noticed the piece of metal aimed at her forehead and put down her brush. Raising her hands slowly, she stepped forward with a shocked expression.

 

"Na- _ah_ , pussycat. Stay still for me, or I'll blow off that pretty face. And tell me, neither of us would want that to happen now, would we?" Benny called out, his mocking expression faltering into an anger glare. _Bitch ain't fucking up my glory, no matter how pretty or sweet she may sing_. "Who are you?" wondered the girl bluntly, ignoring his threat. Benny couldn't help but smirk a little at her stubbornness. "I don't think you're in the position to be asking me questions, princess. Now, get out of my eyesight before I change my mind and pull the trigger."

 

The girl's lips formed into a surprised ' _O_ ', but she managed to make up her mind quickly; she turned around, although Benny growled in protest and turned off Maria's safety button. "I said _leave_. You got dust stuck in your earholes?!" he recalled with a more angered undertone. The girl looked at him and seemed as if she was about to cry.

 

"But, my stuff!" she sobbed. " _My_.. my parents are still here! Just let me go get them! We'll disappear in no time. I _promise_!"

 

Benny put his finger on the trigger. "Get the fuck out, or I swear to god, I'll fucking shoot you. "

 

 

* * *

  
**[** _10 months ago_ **]**   


 

It'd been a long day for Benny; his schedule had been running crazy lately, and it was hard to make time free to attend his usual business at _the Tops,_ when he was trying so hard to get catch Strip in his pocket. The _pain-in-the-ass_ Securiton had been more trouble than it was worth—that was what he'd told himself, before he could finally get it to work, with the help of _Emily_ fucking _Ortal_. Afterwards, he was rather glad; turned out his _Yes-Man_ was quite the chatter.

 

But tonight, tonight he was gonna get himself drunk on Scotch. Not a single Chairman could possibly stop him; not even his bodyguards, that he hired for preventious reasons in case House would decide for his other Securitons to pay him a little visit.

 

So, here he was, in the casino of the Tops with a glass of scotch twirling in his hands. He leant forward onto the railing, while he looked at the current guests who were probably throwing their life away in caps. Benny didn't care for it, though; most folks weren't stupid enough to risk their last resort on The Strip. Some were simply rich, however. The other half was just desperate to feel alive, trying to escape the everlasting life of everyday survival.

 

He didn't get it. Benny had always been this way. He didn't know any better than survival. Surviving was his main goal. Always been that way.

 

Power came second.

 

A sudden tap on his left shoulder caused him to jump out of his relaxted position. The checkered chairman lunged around, ready to deal with whatever was coming his way. Although, as soon as he took in the sight of the stranger standing in front of him, his face nearly dropped to the ground.

 

" _What_ the.." were the only two words he managed to bring out, as he eyed the one in front of him from head to toe.

 

Before the stranger could pull a stunt or speak, Benny held up both his hands.

"Let's keep this in the groove, _hey_? Smooth moves, _smooth_.." he added with a nervous undertone, as he looked at the woman, whose eyes practically spat fire at him.

 

He knew why she was here. _Damn_ , he should've been more cautious with what he'd been doing. Suddenly, a previous occured conversation struck him with the force of lightening, and his eyes widened even more. "That broad everyone saw going into the _Lucky 38_ —that was you? _Shit_."

 

The female courier smiled. _Fuck_. Benny swallowed the lump down his throat and chuckled nervously. The woman in front of him however, was content, calm, and focused. "When you shot me, you ran off so fast I never got your name." she purred, obviously still clinging on to her mask.

 

_Bullshit, girlie. That's plain bullshit and you know it._

 

Benny figured that if she wanted to play a game, he might as well played along with it. _Hell_ , could be amusing for all he knew.

 

And so, he grumbled something under his breath, eyes fixed on the target once again. _I should've emptied my rounds on your temple, just to make sure. Knew you always were a parasite and a pain in the ass, refusing to just give up and die with it._  


 

Though he didn't dare speak out his thoughts. Not in front of his bodyguards or the other Chairmen. Drama was unwanted here; _hell_ , he got himself a pocket filled with that already.

 

"You makin' a pass at me, sister? Because I'm out of your league."

_If you know what's good for you, you get the fuck out of here right now._

 

"Is it wrong to want a guy who'd shoot me in the head?"

_I've come this far asshole, I'm not planning on walking away that easily._

 

"Did those bullets scramble your egg? Or have you always been a naughty broad..?" Benny shot back, a mild tone suggesting the threat towards her. He was trying to warn her, for her to just take the easy way out and leave, but he knew her.

 

  
_Fuck_ , he knew her better than he wished he would.

 

 

"Girls like bad boys. _And you've been downright awful_."

 

 

Benny fished the key to his suite out of his checkered blazer. He walked towards the courier, quickly shoving the piece of cold metal into her sweaty palm. "Top suite, 13th floor." he uttered under his breathe, trying to keep it polite in case a chairman would notice the sudden intrusion.

Before the courier could turn around, Benny clammed her wrist tightly between his own hand, as if he was trying to remind her that _he_ was in control. With his free hand, he brushed away some hair, so he was able to whisper in her ear.

 

 

"Don't be late."

 

 

_She was never late._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

After excusing himself to his Chairmen, Benny headed towards the elevators. Meanwhile, he was trying to puzzle the pieces together of the appearance from the courier; he'd fucking shot her in the temple, and yet here she was, like a tauntering ghost from the past that kept haunting him.

Perhaps he had to accept the fact that karma was real, and therefore she'd become immortal; because he'd fucked her up.

The elevator trip was shorter than expected; before he knew it, he already reached the 13th floor.

Only a few seconds passed, when he reached the familiar doors leading to his private suite. Or atleast, it'd _felt_ like a few seconds.

He cleared his throat, trying to burn a hole through the door by simply glaring at it. It would've been a hell of a lot easier if he knew what was going on behind those damn doors. For all he knew, she was right there at the other side, her gun cocked and ready to shoot his temple.

_Well, suppose there's only one way to find out_ , he said to himself as some sad encouragement.

Quickly and quietly, he put his hand on the doorknob and turned it around. The familiar creeks betrayed his presence, and Benny wanted to curse out loud.   
_Calm and collected Benny_ , he thought, _this is what she came for._

As soon as he opened the door, he internally stated the obvious fact; the room was abandoned. Noone was here—atleast from the very first looks of it.  
When he closed the door and was thrown against the hard surface behind him however, he knew he'd been dead wrong about that.  
Wanting to know what the heck was going on, he parted his lips, ready to pop the question.

A quick, solid punch to the face caught him off guard. He grasped the sore spot in shock, moaning as it started to throb. When he looked up to see the ambusher, he saw that damn pretty familiar fucking face. She looked even more gorgeous when she was angry; he liked his cat with claws.

"What the fuck?!" he cursed loudly, still clinging to the painful spot, his head oozing slightly.

"What, forgot my name asshole?!" she spat back, turning around with a heavy angered glare. Benny used the moment to his advantage, as he reached for Maria in his inside pocket. He was ready to clean up his mistakes; that mistake being too messy with his tracks. The fact that she managed to trace them so easily proved that point.

She was quicker.

When she turned around, a silenced weapon was aimed at his forehead. Anger was still drained on her face. "Remember my name yet, you fucking _prick_?!" she tried again, her lower lip trembling from adrenaline. Benny looked, just _looked_ , relaxed and trying his best to hide his fear of dying. Of losing everything he's worked so hard for.  
"What the fuck are you talking about, you crazy broad? I've never seen you in my entire life!" he replied, with his best impression of a genuinely confused person.

She didn't buy it. _Ofcourse not,_ he snorted.

The courier switched off the security on her weapon. "You.. you _disease_ of a _fuck_.. How the fuck do you _live_ with yourself, Benny? _Tell me_!" she screamed louder, her face twitching as she allowed the anger to take over. "You.. you _murdered_ my fucking parents! You betrayed me, you _humiliated_ me, you left me.. And then you shot me. You fucking _shot_ me. You looked me straight in the eye and pulled that goddamn _trigger_. Like I was _nothing_. Like you've never seen me before!"

Her face broke.

Tears started to pour down. She thought he wouldn't notice, but he clearly saw the line of wetness running down her cheak. She was beautiful.   
Even broken, she was still beautiful.

"I'm sorry, Lucinda." Benny heard himself say. He didn't mean it. He never meant it. And she knew he didn't mean it.   
Seeing her cry didn't do shit to him. Always been that way, always has.

She snorted. "Bullshit, Benny. _Asshole_. I should kill you. I should _fucking_ kill you."

Benny smiled. "You ain't got the guts, _sweetheart_. You and I both know that. Would've been dead a long time ago if that were the case."

He was right. Always was.

She read his mind. A laugh escaped her lips.

"You're wrong Benny. Not this time. I _will_ kill you. One day, you're gonna see me show up, and you're gonna know it's time. I will put a clean bullet between those treacherous eyes of yours. I won't make you suffer like I had to, because unlike you, I know how to work my shit. And I'm not as evil as you." she said, never taking his eyes off his.

"Today is not that day." she added.

Benny smirked. "And I won't fight back. You get to end it all and walk away victoriously. Eye for an eye, _right_? It's the least I can do, girlie."

She smiled too. "It's the least you can do." she agreed.

Slowly dropping her weapon, her face went blank again. "I fucking _hate_ you, Benny. I fucking hate you with every inche of my body. With every _breath_ I take."   
A normal person would've been shocked, but not him. _Hell_ , he wasn't even normal anymore. He'd isolated his soul a long time ago. For a moment, when she came in the picture however, he knew it was starting to melt. Starting to care.

That's why he'd fucked her up.

Because the great _Benny from Vegas_ had been too scared of caring for someone other than himself.

"I know." he breathed. "I hate you too."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for not updating any sooner! My laptop was off to repair for like weeks and I couldn't write :/ this one is a little short and not so exciting, but necessary to build up to future moments. Please drop a comment if you dig, baby! x

[ _Present day_ ]

 

 

The feeling of sore muscles overwhelmed her as soon as she got up out of her crouched position. Leaning on the rock to support her weight, she gasped out loud in annoyance. Reality struck her, when she finally connected all the dots and blurred lines; the legion wouldn't rest until she was dead.

All because she refused to play for their team; the platinum chip was still in her possession. It was thoughtfully tucked in her bra, so she was certain it would never get stolen from her, as long as she kept it on.

Sometimes she remembered the way she'd gotten it. It was thanks to him.  _Benny_. They'd made a deal to rule the Strip together, end all the corruption for once and for all by making it individual. Although Lucy had to admit, she wasn't certain Benny had the same image in mind as her; Benny was a controlling motherfucker who wanted everything for himself. But perhaps, if he would let her, she could fix that in him. She could keep him in line, keep him under her control. 

Yeah. She could fix him. Benny knew that, too.

So the fucker left.

He fled. Like  _always_.

Infact, he was so caught up in his joyful thoughts, he hadn't even bothered to check his pockets for the platinum chip; Lucy had swapped them when he'd been asleep, replacing the platinum chip with a silver, fake chip of his own precious  _Tops_ casino. The fucker had left her a note in the morning, promising her to take her out on a date with him.

_A fucking date_. Always a hilarious, charming fuck. Typically Benny, to make empty promises he wasn't going to keep to save his own goddamn life. And it showed, considering Lucy was on her way to save his sorry ass, even though he didn't deserve it.

Lucy often thought about the promise they'd made eachother a few months ago. She got to end it all, and walk away with her hands clean. It was most likely the reason behind her obsession of saving Benny; that kill was hers to take. Noone had the right to take that away from her. The idea of that closure being stolen away from her made her more anxious than anything. It was her thrive, and what kept her at bay.

The desert sand stuck to her bare feet when she dragged her exhausted body up the hill. Her mind was spinning in loopings as she tried to think of a proper way to approach this problem. A solution, so to speak, because really, what chance did she and Boone stand against those roman puppet ass-fucks?

They wanted her dead, she would be. _Not without a fight_ , she hummed in thought.  _Not going down without taking atleast a few dozen of them with me._

"Boone?" Lucy called out, noticing how hoarse her voice sounded because of the heat. She moved further upwards to the small camp, eyes scanning the area quickly. A few seconds passed before she heard the sound of someone rummaging through a backpack. 

When her eyes darted towards the familiar figure, she sighed in relief. Boone, noticing he was being stared at, jumped up with his weapon ready. As soon as he realized it was just Lucy, he rolled his eyes and sheathed his 10 mm pistol in its original place. "What's up?" he wondered stupidly, looking away from Lucy's naked body. "I was, er, just trying to find some new clothes." he announced dryly, taking the pile of folded clothes off the ground and handing it over to her. 

Lucy ignored his awkward expression and quickly hauled herself into the merc adventurer clothing. She then grasped her old sheriff jacket that was thrown over a chair. "Pack your shit.  _Now_." she commanded firmly, strapping herself into her weapon belt. Meanwhile, she felt the environment change because of her words; Boone wasn't stupid. "Legion?" he guessed after a few minutes of silence. 

No. He wasn't stupid indeed.

"Yup." she answered casually, looking around the place once more. "Where the fuck are my cigarettes?!" she yelled out in frustration, emptying her backpack with a slight panicked expression. She felt the emotions in her head piling up; it was becoming too much. Her sanity was already slipping away, thanks to the asshole who fucked up her life. The fact that she was even willing to risk  _her_ life to  _save_ him.

_Pathetic_ , she thought.  _I'm weak and pathetic._

" _Chill_ , Luce. I kept them for you in case, well,  _this_ would happen." he scoffed, waving his hand at the woman who'd thrown all her belongings on the ground without a care. When she looked up and noticed the familiar box of cigarettes in his hand, she started to stuff her bag with all clothing, ammo, food and all else that was scattered on the ground. When she was finished, she hoisted the backpack over her shoulders, grabbed the pack of cigarettes from her companion and plucked a cigarette out of the box. She then lighted it quickly, inhaling to stimulate the burning end. 

"Let's go." Lucy said with a curt no towards their headed direction. Boone sighed with a slightly frustrated expression, nevertheless he obeyed.

Because he too, knew, that Lucinda was a disaster waiting to happen.

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so sorry for the lack of updates. I tried to do a long chapter for once. X

_**Boone**   
_

Little clouds of dust whirled upwards from the ground where he placed his boots. After coughing a few times from the fine sand surrounding his face, he lifted the bandana around his neck to his mouth. It somehow filtered the dusty air a bit, but he still had to squeeze his eyes to avoid getting it in on his pupils. Boone continued to walk further into the desert, eyes scanning the area where he was sure he'd seen a banana yucca plant not long ago when he was looking through his scope. 

Lucy had been feeling shitty, he knew. She didn't have to tell him; he felt it in her presence, as the once so mouthy tanned woman would come up with stories or ways to pester him about childish yet funny topics had suddenly gone quiet over the past 3 days. There was a reason, but he'd yet to find out why; he figured it was that Benny prick taking over her already busy thoughts. It was too much for her to handle, probably; waves of chaos that over overpowered her the moment she'd opened her eyes after being shot in the head by a treacherous snake. And now, she was even willingly risking her very own life for him, just so the fucker could be released from those legion dogs.

Yet the worst thing, was that he agreed to accompany her. Although it'd been for his own seek of revenge, not to protect Lucy. But boy, how those wheels had turned over the past few weeks. Heck, he couldn't leave her even if he tried. She managed to infiltrate his depressing thoughts by her uplifting spirit. She'd settled herself into his heart. No, not the romance type of feeling, but something else. Companionship. Family. Someone to spend his sorry days of survival with, since he didn't have anyone or anything else to breathe for. Now, it was his goal to get the lady to that bloody camp. And if that Benny asshole would as much as touch a hair on her face without her permission, he woud lynch the living, motherfucking shit out of him.

And he'd enjoy while doing it, knowing he was the one keeping Lucinda down. Worse, he was the reason Lucy was actually falling into the blackened pit of depression.

Boone finally found the damn yucca tree, and was pleased to see fresh Banana yucca's glowing in all their glory. He quickly started to harvest them and put them in his backpack. Afterwards, he turned around and lifted his sniper rifle to his face. He peered through the scope and was satisfied to see that Lucinda was still sleeping under the ravaged, half-open hut they'd settled in the night before. Boone made sure to check the area nearby the shelter to make sure it was clear, and then lowered his weapon.

He bent over his backpack and grabbed a bottle of purified water. The water was lukewarm, but you couldn't be picky in the wastes. 

After swallowing a small amount of the liquid, he put the bottle back in his backpack and made way towards the shelter.

\--------------

**_FLASHBACK - Lucinda_ **

_\------------_

The sun seemed to burn through her eyesockets. Her entire mouth was dry, and the only thing left to taste on was utter desperation. She could hardly make out her vision anymore; everything seemed the same, felt the same.

All this.

Emptiness.  _Self loathing_. She could hear the dead ghostly voices of her parents  _mocking_ her.

_Get the hell up, Lucinda. We died for your bittersweet salvation. Make it worth your while._

Suddenly, a shadow towered over her, blocking the light in her sight. She couldn't care less if it was a raider, or worse; she wanted to give up. She wanted to embrace the comforting darkness. It could finally swallow her whole, and she could finally rest in peace, knowing she made it atleast longer than most people had.

"Damn,  _Pocahontas_. What's gotten to ya? Send you off, didn't think you'd give up as far as the gates of Freeside and die here already." 

_That fucking voice_.

"Such a shame..  yeah, real shame alright. Gorgeous little thing like you." 

Lucy cleared her throat. " _Go... go.._ " 

"Say what now, girlie? Gotta speak up if you wanna be heard." 

" _Go.. Go f-fuck yourself._ " 

The words were spoken with all the energy she had left; it felt satisfying, oddly enough.

" _Hey_ , that ain't a way to talk to your fellow mutual. Come, come. Let's get you up." 

Before she could take note of what was happening, two warm and soft pair of strong hands pulled her up straight, until she was in sitting position. Next, she was floating in the air— carried by the stranger, who was not so strange as she'd expected him to be.

A shadow loomed over them and she moaned when she felt herself cool down slightly. When a bottle was pressed to her lips, she drank eagerly. " _Easy_ , princess. Slow sips now." 

Finally, her vision was starting to come back, and she could make out the face. The face of that asshole, who wasn't an asshole now; he saved her. Somewhat.  _Somehow_.

Something sweet was pressed against her lips, and automatically as an impulse, she opened her mouth. "That's right baby girl, chew it real good, get your body used to food again." 

It was somewhat embarrasing, being fed by the man who savagely and selfishly murderered her parents. She was being kept alive by the devil.

_But atleast I will have enough strength to kill him._

He kept feeding her until the pack of _Fancy Lads snack cakes_  was empty. 

Left her with a bag of supplies, too.

"Hope we meet under better circumstances next time, Pocahontas. Would be a shame to see you go. I gave you a winning chance, so take it. Or so  _god_ help me, I'll make a different decision and kill you off in our next lives." 

Lucy almost smirked.  _As if I'd ever let you, you prick. As_ fucking  _if._

 

*******

The next time they met, it was just outside the Freeside gate. Only a few weeks had passed; Lucy was smoking a cigarette when Benny arrived with two guards. It seemed as if he'd gone to a business trade of some sort.

"Head on in, boys. Will be there in a few." Benny said, nodding to the guards. Lucy narrowed her eyes in suspicion, never leaving his breathing form as Benny offered the men a poisonous, charming and reassuring smile.

Lucy inhaled her cigarette. 

The men disappeared behind the gates.

Benny reached into his pocket.

Lucy drew her weapon effortlessly, leaving the cigarette between her lips. She aimed right on his forehead.

Benny didn't even flinch as he grasped a cigarette out of his checkered jacket. He lit it with a gold plated lighter and sucked in the smoke. "Easy now,  _pussycat_. You only got 7 lives to spend, remember? Why the hostility? Didn't the  _Ben-man_  help you out last time?" he said sweetly, making eyecontact with her. Lucy lowered her weapon a bit and spit out her nearly burnt-down cigarette. 

"You killed my parents." she stated, matter-of-factly.

"And  _look_ at you  _now_! Big girl all on her own!" 

Lucy aimed the 10 mm pistol at his head once again.

"Geez, Pocahontas— alright,  _alright_. Look, I'm sorry,  _alright_? 'T was nothing personal, I assure you. Truth was..  _the game was rigged from the star_ t. Boss' orders." 

She lowered her weapon. "The only reason why I'm not shooting them worthless brains out of your skull is because you indeed, helped me." she said numbly. Lucy would sure come to regret the decision of not killing him and enjoying her revenge, but she was too cold to care; her soul and heart, both corrupted and smashed to pieces, and now there were only icicle remains left.

She couldn't care. And didn't care. She did good things, for good people. Sure, she would get her hands dirty once in a while; but her goal was to keep on living for those in need.

Benny smiled his  _o_ -so charming smile and tossed her his backpack. "A gift. 'Till next time we meet,  _sweetheart_."

"I can handle myself,  _Benny_." she said with an annoyed undertone and a roll of the eyes. Benny seemed amused by this. "Oh, even know my name?" he wondered mealymouthed. If Lucy didn't know better, he was trying to flirt with her. But then again, this creature would flirt with  _any_ living organism just  to have his way.

"Yeah, you're quite big out there, you know. People talk a lot about you. They fear you." 

"Oh, is that so? Now look, miss.." 

"Lucinda." 

" _Lucinda_ , huh? Mind if I call you Luce?" 

"I'd prefer 'Lucy'." 

"Okay, my dearest  _Lucy_. The thing is, fear is good. Fear is  _perfect_. It'll keep people in line, won't push any.. ideas.. into their  _twisted_ little minds, you dig? As long as you got that, you got it all. You gotta steal that show." Benny explained, almost passionately. He even used handgestures to pin the point, to Lucinda's frustration.

"Now.. If some word got out, about how a big scary ol' fella like me got weak over a sweet broad like yourself, for example, and y'know, even helped her.. That would be such a big shame, wouldn't it? All that hard work for that reputation would be.. gone..  _worthless_." every word he spoke— it became softer and more threateningly. He stepped towards her, slowly, until they were inches away from eachother.

"It'd be a bummer.. if something happened to that person.." he rasped in his soft voice. 

Lucy never broke eyecontact. Losing eyecontact meant losing this.. intimidation battle.

"Benny," she breathed, head tilt high and her brown optics boring through his own. 

"I'm not scared of you, and I never will be." she admitted confidently. 

"I know," Benny replied. "I've always known. That's why I like you, Lucy. That's why I kept you alive and why I saved your gorgeous ass. But don't underestimate me,  _Pocahontas_. The graveyard's full of stubborn heads like you."

This was a game.  _His game_. The only way she would be able to play along, was to play it by his rules.

Lucy stepped forward, looking sweetly. "Then dig a grave, just in case you'll get bored of me." 

Benny smiled.

His longing eyes filled with lust.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
